Q: How long does it take for cops to put on 30 lbs of high tech army gear?

Hey guys! Sorry we're late. We couldn't decide on our outfits. And you know it's so hard to pick one gun. Eventually we decided just to bring them all. Photo: nj.com.

A:  Far longer than it takes for a deranged shooter to run out of ammo.

It should be obvious by now that everything about school security is ass-backwards.  It doesn’t matter if you ban guns.  Psychos will find a way. If they can’t get their hands on one of the 100 million guns already in this country, they will drive a truck over a crowd of kids.  They’ll make a fertilizer bomb.  A determined attacker could kill 10 people in an elementry school with a sword, because those kids are completely defenseless. You have a bunch of kids, mostly women teachers (no offense), and no weapons allowed.

I’m going to tell you how to put a stop to, or at least severely reduce the success rate of these school schootings.  First of all, we have to get over this idiotic rule of not having any guns in schools.  There needs to be one or more police officers stationed in every school.  And I don’t mean combat dress-up cops that run and hide and call for backup, and stand around and wait for shooters to run out of ammo. I mean real police officers that are going to charge right in there as soon as the shooting starts and attempt to protect those kids.

Teachers and administrators need to be deputized, and be armed.  They should take a handgun class and qualify to protect our kids.  There should be a quick access pistol safe in every principal’s office at a minimum, if not every classroom.  When the shooting starts, the person who has been entrusted with the protection of these kids needs to fulfil their duty and confront that shooter.  Every kid needs to be taught gun safety as soon as they’re old enough to hold a gun. Kids and teachers should all take martial arts.  This gives them confidence and a sense of responsibility, and prevents gun accidents.

To this you would probably say “That would be a disaster. Kids would get a hold of those guns and kill each other. There would be accidents. They can’t be trusted.”  My response would be stop your sniveling, spank their butts and expel them if they don’t shape up.  Let their parents deal with them.  Schools are supposed to be for learning, not babysitting a bunch of little brats.  And for God’s sake, we need to dramatically reduce the use of antidepressants and amphetamines across the board, in kids and adults.  That alone would prevent a good majority of these incidents.

Teachers should be able to lock individual classrooms as needed, while other classrooms can evacuate.  They should have entry buzzers, and high impact bullet resistant polycarbonate windows and reinforced doors everywhere.  Visitors should be directed to check in with office staff.  These are minor inconveniences that would go a long way toward improving security.  But having armed staff inside the school is of primary importance. There is no other way to stop this kind of mass shooting.

Pill popping video-game junkies will never have the balls to attack a school with well-armed, well-trained people on site ready to defend the kids, and if they do, they won’t get far. They only attack schools because they know the kids are easy prey.  Druggies and mk ultra zombies are not going to be very effective unless the victims are disarmed.

These army cops have no skin in the game. They have their own kids to go home to. They’d rather stand around outside and play dress up and wait for the ammo to run out than risk their own lives to protect your kids.  When are we going to learn?

Gun-free zone = Fish-in-a-barrel zone